Get The Conversational Juices Flowing
Perhaps you've tried pickup lines in the past and had little or no luck with them. There is a solid reason for this-pickup lines are usually designed around some trick to get a woman's attention and they don't allow you to be your true self. Also, just about every woman you use them on has heard them before and will probably roll her eyes at you before walking away. However a bit of charm will go a long way in helping you to garner her attention because it allows you to be your best self and to make a good first impression.
Ultimately what you want is to be able to start a conversation in order to let your true self shine, you don't want to get shut down right off the bat with a tired old pickup line.
Easy Conversation Starters
There are several ways to start a conversation without appearing needy or desperate for her attention. Here are a few to try out:
- The Direct Approach: Pretty self-explanatory, you want to go over directly and show interest. Being direct will score you points by showing that you were confident enough to approach her at all. It also will keep you out of the friend zone by showing interest in her from the start. There are two downsides to the direct approach. First it requires steady confidence to pull off and it will put her on the spot. She will have to make a quick decision to talk to you or not, and you have to prepare yourself for either option.
- The Indirect Approach: A bit slyer than the direct approach, you want to appear to be starting a simple conversation and not immediately interested in picking her up. Simply look at her and ask her opinion about something, such as do you look too metrosexual or does she think that just flirting is cheating, or make an observation about something noteworthy in the bar like a funny hat or garish outfit. The upside of the indirect approach is that it requires less confidence and can be pulled off by the shyer folks. Also, you will create a bit of mystery because she will want to know your opinion as well and she isn't thrown on the defensive by a pickup line. There's no pressure here - just a friendly conversation.
- Situational Approaches: This requires being aware of your surroundings and starting a conversation based on what is already going on. Notice something in the bar or club worth commenting on and simply lean in and say something as if you were already in conversation. This approach will appear spontaneous and is non-threatening. Just be careful not to spend too much time looking for something to comment on that you lose your opportunity to talk to her.
- Existing Conversation: Here you are already engaged in a conversation with a buddy and you simply turn around and ask her opinion on something you were already discussing. Just include her as if she were involved all along. This will ease her into your conversation and give you an opportunity to entice her with your wit and charm.
Keep in mind that light, playful conversation is easy to draw people into and it's easy to keep going. Ask open-ended questions. Don't give her a chance to just say yes or no and then clam up on you. Truly listen to what she is saying and respond with interest. Remember to smile and be inviting as well as to make eye contact and convey confidence.
Opening a conversation with a little charm is extremely more successful that trying outdated and overused pickup lines. Show her that you're interesting and that you're interested in her as a person, not just someone to take home for a fling.